the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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