Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
