are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I AM VODKA MAN
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
