I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm always down for nudity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
