I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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