I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
