i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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