great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
