i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
