I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
