She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This is my gift to your gina
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
