Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
