dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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