he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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