i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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