my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So much rum. So many feels.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
