if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Terrible idea I love it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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