i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Four minutes until I can fart!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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