Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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