All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said her name was "party"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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