I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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