Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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