There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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