As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
