well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just forgot I was standing up.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
