Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She bit a glass in half.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
