Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
