Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
