You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
