I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
