I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
