But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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