You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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