i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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