The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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