does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
