what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
