the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
