im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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