Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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