im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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