Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
