Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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