Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were destined to go to rehab together
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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