the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
