You're my little dorito
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
