census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
