I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
