It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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