he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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