operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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