He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
