just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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